Premature Ejaculation Effects
The Kinsey Institute is famous primarily for the research done by Dr Alfred Kinsey back in the 1950s. What perhaps is less well-known is that the Institute continues to carry out cutting-edge research into the effects of sexual dysfunction on human relationships. In recent times a lot of the research that they have done has been guided by a theoretical model which suggests that the human sexual response and associated arousal is determined in an individual person by the balance between two systems in that person's brain: the first is the sexual activation or excitation system, and the second is the sexual inhibition system, each of which has a different neurobiological basis. Implicit in this model, known as the Dual Control model, are three basic assumptions.
The first is that although sexual arousal is something that is the product of interactions between two or more human beings, the context of sex and the culture that they live in are important sources of stimulation in both an excitatory and in inhibitory fashion: nonetheless, the ultimate effects of these factors depends on the neurobiology of the men and women concerned.
The second assumption is that neurobiological inhibition of an individual's sexual responses is an adaptive response (one which reduces the likelihood of sexual desire or activity) which inhibits sexual arousal and desire in a situation where this would be either harmful, dangerous or inappropriate.
The third assumption is that human beings vary in their capacity to be aroused and inhibited sexually. Unfortunately a number of individuals have an extremely high or low propensity to be sexually stimulated, or an extremely high or low propensity for sexual inhibition. Clearly this will have a direct effect on their sexual behavior, either encouraging them to engage in high-risk sexual behavior or other types of problematic sexual behavior, or ensuring that they have such a high level of sexual inhibition that they experience sexual dysfunction.
Now one of the things which we do know is that novelty is very important in a couple's sex life, and that lack of exploration of sexual techniques is going to harm their sexual attraction. In particular, any techniques which fail to ensure that the man knows how to make the woman come will not help establish greater intimacy. The coital alignment techniques (see more about this here) will help enormously, too.
Clearly this model may be extremely relevant to premature ejaculation. To establish the effects of premature ejaculation using this model of human sexuality, Bancroft and other experts have developed a Sexual Inhibition Scale and a Sexual Excitation Scale, both based on the questions that contribute to the score of individuals on these scales, and allowing an assessment of the impact of their individual sexual characteristics on their sexual performance.
It's generally found that the emotions which cause the greatest difficulties in sexual relationships are resentment and insecurity. Naturally enough, as you may have experienced in your own relationship, these two emotions are intimately interconnected. Another big problem in relationships is anger, which is a normal consequence of any close relationship. Anger is, of course, something that tends to make people avoid intimate interactions and sex, but its effect is nothing like as intense as chronic unresolved resentment. Many people who have sexual difficulties refuse to recognize the connection between their long-standing feelings of resentment or hurt and sexual problems they are experiencing, but the connection is undeniable. Whether or not a couple can cope with ongoing difficulties in a relationship depends on how they communicate: that includes not just the information they give about themselves, but also the method by which they communicate. Ineffective communication is often a cause of greater problems.
Another significant cause of sexual difficulties is anxiety – a factor that is often seen premature ejaculation. Clearly it's not always easy to separate cause-and-effect, in the sense that premature ejaculation may well be caused by anxiety, and in turn it can promote further anxiety about future sexual failure. The irony of this situation is that a man who is highly anxious when he approaches any sexual interaction is likely to ejaculate much faster anyway, thereby producing a positive reinforcement of rapid ejaculation.
Now, one of the interesting things about premature ejaculation is that of course not every couple experiences the same sexual dysfunction in the same circumstances, nor are they susceptible to the same level of intensity of sexual dysfunction arising in particular circumstances. So the question emerges: what is it that makes an individual have a particular level of vulnerability to sexual dysfunction? Why does premature ejaculation affect some men and not others?
One of the obvious things that affects the way a person responds to sexual stimulation is their beliefs and values about sex. A huge number of people grew up in an environment where sex was considered to be bad, perhaps even dirty or evil. Since children generally absorb unquestioningly the attitudes and beliefs that they see around them, many of us do hold views about sex that are predominantly negative, and may well serve to inhibit what should be a natural and spontaneous pleasure. Beliefs that are commonly expressed about sex include one that the majority of people probably share – that is to say, that we must not be seen or heard indulging in any form of sexual activity.
So when a person identifies sex as bad, there's almost no doubt that there's going to be a massive effect on their ability to enjoy sex as an adult in a fulfilling way.
It's also not uncommon for emotions of disgust to be associated with sex, and the most common way in which these are manifested is vaginal aversion or an aversion to male ejaculate or to the smell or taste of the genitals. Again, it would not be surprising to find that somebody who experienced an aversion to the smell and taste of the vagina had a tendency to ejaculate rapidly – it's a very effective way of getting away from the first of stimulus quite quickly. Clearly therefore, premature ejaculation may be closely linked to problematic sexuality or beliefs about sex that are somewhat dysfunctional.
In addition, people who have a strong need for self-control may fear the loss of self and loss of control that occurs at the moment of orgasm; some may actually dislike how they look during orgasm, or they may fear the increased vulnerability that sex can entail. Once again this level of dysfunctional thinking around sex can promote a high level of anxiety in an individual, and as we've already seen, a high level of anxiety is often a precursor of early climax in men.
Naturally enough, sexual abuse of any kind has received extensive attention in scientific circles, and we can summarize a great body of research by saying that to the extent to which early sexual experiences were linked to traumatic or unpleasant feelings, an individual will suffer long-term consequences of some kind, albeit perhaps with varying ability to withstand the effects of those early trauma.
Once again, anybody who has developed an association between sexual activity and negative or traumatic experiences is likely to be a candidate for sexual dysfunction – which in men, may often mean a tendency to ejaculate too quickly. These problems are discussed in more detail on the page of premature ejaculation affects on men.